The Republican Spectrum of Ignorance
By Bob Cesca
Republicans and conservatives make it really, really difficult for us to avoid focusing on their lapses in intelligence. And with a conga-line of top shelf Republicans front and center for the 2012 presidential nomination, we’re being treated to more examples of nitwittery from these people.
In the last six or seven months alone, there are enough examples of Republicans botching very basic ideas and facts to fill volumes of “Bushism” style novelty calendars.
Sarah Palin, the matriarch of Republican idiocy, didn’t just botch the Paul Revere story. Among a variety of other gaffes on Twitter (“cackle of rads?”) and elsewhere, she has repeatedly botched the First Amendment suggesting it protects radio show hosts and others from offended citizens. Both John Boehner and Herman Cain have confused the Declaration of Independence with the Constitution. Eric Cantor tried to pass a bill that would somehow magically become law with just a House vote, and this magical law would inexplicably force a separate bill to also magically become law without a Senate vote, a conference committee or a presidential signature. Speaking of lawmaking, Herman Cain wants bills that are three pages or less — presumably with cartoony illustrations by Richard Scarry. Michele Bachmann thinks John Quincy Adams is a founding father and mistakenly linked her campaign with creepy clown/killer John Wayne Gacy. The list goes on and on.
That’s not to say all modern conservatives are stupid. I simply don’t subscribe to the crowd-pleasing notion that they’re idiots.
However, there’s a spectrum of anti-intellectualism on the right, and that’s a fact. The Republican Spectrum of Ignorance runs the gamut from “genuinely smart but wrong” on one extreme to “genuinely stupid” on the other with various points in between. (The categories can be overlapped, Venn Diagram style, and applied to specific conservative players.)
Genuinely Smart but Wrong. These are modern conservatives who are, as the category title suggests, very well-educated and bright, and therefore an endangered species. They can construct coherent thoughts and they try to be intellectually honest in constructing their arguments. But where they fall short is their adherence to ideology. Despite, for example, generally agreed-upon economic arguments about stimulating job creation, they’ll insist that tax cuts and spending cuts that impact the middle and working classes are the only solution even though tax cuts do not stimulate job or economic growth, and spending cuts actually make things worse.
Deliberately Ignorant. This brand of conservative exploits the idea that voters want leaders who remind them of themselves — someone they can have a beer with — so they deliberately act like slack-jawed yokels at every opportunity. But just below the surface, they’re very clever and calculating. Irrespective of political affiliation, we shouldn’t want leaders who are just like us, or, for that matter, a random shit-kicker at the bar. We ought to instinctively demand leaders who are better, smarter and more disciplined — times a thousand. But Republican voters disagree. And so they get these phony-baloney hacks posing as ordinary yickadoos.
Un- or Miseducated. These conservatives are often the ones who botch general knowledge trivia and historical facts, or who don’t understand how basic democracy works. I’ve coined the term “miseducated” here to encompass politicians like Michele Bachmann who, while she studied tax law at William & Mary, obviously missed out on proper history classes during her education. They believe that secession is somehow a noble pursuit despite the fact that 600,000 Americans were killed the last time it was attempted. They don’t get it because they never learned it — or they mislearned it. George W. Bush had extensive schooling but didn’t really study because he didn’t have to. His family name carried him through his higher education.
Incompetent and Incapable. George W. Bush and Sarah Palin also fit squarely in this category of conservative anti-intellectualism. While Palin, for example, might have been given information by her advisers about the role of the vice president or tidbits about Paul Revere and bell-ringing of some sort, she utterly scrambled the re-telling of that information, which exposed her general incompetence. If you’re unable to capably regurgitate information, you really have no place in a role that’s almost entirely dependent upon communicating ideas. And if you can’t communicate ideas, there’s even less of a chance you’ll be able to come up with passable ideas of your own, making you increasingly susceptible to the ambitions and political machinations of your advisers.
Genuinely Stupid. At the far end of the spectrum, this category speaks for itself. These Republicans fortuitously stumbled their way into elected office or the news media due to their congeniality or money or both despite being dumber than a sack of Jell-o.
The wild card category is, simply put, Crazy. Going back to Michele Bachmann, I don’t think she’s stupid. I think she’s crazy. Not in the clinical sense (which is her own business), but specifically with regards to her radical ideas blended together with her miseducation — a concoction that makes her so far removed from even the fringes of the mainstream that I can’t believe she’s actually being taken seriously as a presidential candidate.
So it stands to reason that a massive assault against our system of public education has been a priority of modern conservatism during this era of incomprehensible austerity.
For Republicans, education and intellectualism is the enemy of their wafer-thin bumper-sticker marketing strategy, and so denying people an affordable education has become a matter of survival for the Republican Party. An uninformed voter can be manipulated by sloganeering and trickery. A smarter voter is more likely to see through shallow appeals to fear and transparently deceptive marketing schemes.