The Teabagger Pledge

It’s odd that so many critics of this administration should use “socialism” as a evil word. In fact millions of Americans, including many of these critics, are ardent supporters of socialism, even if they don’t realize it and even if they don’t actually use the word.

Think of two elements of society that enjoy overwhelming popular support despite being government owned and operated.

The first is the public schools. Horace Mann, in early 19th-century Massachusetts, pioneered the project of creating publicly funded schools for every child in the state. The idea caught on widely and in less than a century had been emulated by every state in the Union. No Child Left Behind, endorsed by a conservative administration, is the most recent incarnation of this huge, centralized socialist project.

The second example is the highways. Early auto enthusiasts asked Henry Ford to contribute to building a private highway system but he declined to invest and warned them that they should not create the precedent of private road ownership — much better to let the government pay. For a century now, governments — state and federal — have built an astonishing network of utterly “socialist” highways throughout the land. So far as I know, no one has objected to driving along them for that reason. 

 

The Teabagger Pledge

I, ________________________, do solemnly swear to uphold the principles of a socialism-free society and heretofore pledge my word that I shall strictly adhere to the following:

I will complain about the destruction of 1st Amendment Rights in this country, while I am duly being allowed to exercise my 1st Amendment Rights.

I will complain about the destruction of my 2nd Amendment Rights in this country, while I am duly being allowed to exercise my 2nd Amendment rights by legally but brazenly brandishing unconcealed firearms in public.

I will foreswear the time-honored principles of fairness, decency, and respect by screaming unintelligible platitudes regarding tyranny, Nazi-ism, and socialism at public town halls.

Also, I pledge to eliminate all government intervention in my life. I will abstain from the use of and participation in any socialist goods and services including but not limited to the following:

• Social Security
• Medicare/Medicaid
• State Children's Health Insurance Programs (SCHIP)
• Police, Fire, and Emergency Services
• US Postal Service
• Roads and Highways
• Air Travel (regulated by the socialist FAA)
• The US Railway System
• Public Subways and Metro Systems
• Public Bus and Light Rail Systems
• Rest Areas on Highways
• Sidewalks
• All Government-Funded Local/State Projects (e.g., see Iowa 2009 federal senate appropriations)
• Public Water and Sewer Services (goodbye socialist toilet, shower, dishwasher, kitchen sink, garden sprinkler)
• Public and State Universities and Colleges
• Public Primary and Secondary Schools
• Sesame Street
• Publicly Funded Anti-Drug Use Education for Children
• Public Museums
• Libraries
• Public Parks and Beaches
• State and National Parks
• Public Zoos
• Unemployment Insurance
• Municipal Garbage and Recycling Services
• Treatment at Any Hospital or Clinic That Ever Received Funding From Local, State or Federal Government (pretty much all of them)
• Medical Services and Medications That Were Created or Derived From Any Government Grant or Research Funding (again, pretty much all of them)
• Socialist Byproducts of Government Investment Such as Duct Tape and Velcro (Nazi-NASA Inventions)
• Use of the Internet, email, and networked computers, as the DoD's ARPANET was the basis for subsequent computer networking
• Foodstuffs, Meats, Produce and Crops That Were Grown With, Fed With, Raised With or That Contain Inputs From Crops Grown With Government Subsidies
• Clothing Made from Crops (e.g. cotton) That Were Grown With or That Contain Inputs From Government Subsidies
• If a veteran of the government-run socialist US military, I will forego my VA benefits and insist on paying for my own medical care
• I will not tour socialist government buildings like the Capitol in Washington, D.C.
• I pledge to never take myself, my family, or my children on a tour of the following types of socialist locations, including but not limited to:

* Smithsonian Museums, eg. the Air and Space Museum or Museum of American History
* The socialist Washington, Lincoln, and Jefferson Monuments
* The government-operated Statue of Liberty
* The Grand Canyon
* The socialist World War II and Vietnam Veterans Memorials
* The government-run socialist-propaganda location known as Arlington National Cemetery
* All other public-funded socialist sites, whether it be in my state or in DC

• I will urge my Member of Congress and Senators to forego their government salary and government-provided healthcare.
• I will oppose and condemn the government-funded and therefore socialist military of the United States of America.
• I will boycott the products of socialist defense contractors such as GE, Lockheed-Martin, Boeing, Northrop Grumman, General Dynamics, Raytheon, Humana, FedEx, General Motors, Honeywell, and hundreds of others that are paid by our socialist government to produce goods for our socialist army.
• I will protest socialist security departments such as the Pentagon, FBI, CIA, Department of Homeland Security, TSA, Department of Justice and their socialist employees.
• Upon reaching eligible retirement age, I will tear up my socialist Social Security checks.
• Upon reaching age 65, I will forego Medicare and pay for my own private health insurance until I die.

SWORN ON A BIBLE AND SIGNED THIS _____ DAY OF __________ IN THE YEAR _______.

X__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

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Find one American who will abstain from the use of and participation in any socialist goods and services listed and so will I! This is the most ridiculous thing that I've ever seen!

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10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. ken
    Jul 25, 2010 @ 12:43:00

    ah,you socialists are aslep at the wheel or your just hoping everyone else is,,schools are state supported,on the federal level they are illegal,and when vouchers finnaly get started the federal government will be out of it all together,read a newspaper,more and more private schools are opening,and alot of parents are so sickened by the socialism being taught they are home schooling,the highway system once known as the post roads are one of the things the constitutuion allows for…..most of the rest of your little list falls into two catogories,either approved by the constition or blatenly illegal…….the creeping socialism we laughingly call the federal government would scare the hell out of the founding fathers and the sighners of the constitution,even madison woke up to the danger of a overly strong central government,its time for you to do the same…………….

    Reply

  2. Syrin from Wasilla
    Jul 25, 2010 @ 13:34:00

    Help me out here, Ken! You know that the voucher system is an expensive, redistributionist welfare program that threatens the autonomy of both private schools and suburban public schools, right?

    Reply

  3. Syrin from Wasilla
    Jul 25, 2010 @ 13:41:00

    The U.S. public education system has been in trouble for years, as the steady stream of students into private schools illustrates. But far from fixing what's wrong with public schools, tax-funded vouchers for private schools and choice among public schools would make things much worse. Vouchers would bring private schools under strict government regulation and supervision, and choice would subtly but effectively erase the lines between school districts and the local level of government pertaining to education would be erased with that. Both would mean more government spending and more government control. IMHO

    Reply

  4. ken
    Jul 25, 2010 @ 14:15:00

    the voucher system has shown to be cheaper and sends kids to better schools,that offer better programs and higher graduation rates…if you did a little studying the schools that are crying the loudest are also getting the most in tax dollars,sometimes twice as much and show no gains with that money,much like anything to do with the federal government………….

    Reply

  5. Cryin' for the Dyin'
    Jul 25, 2010 @ 14:22:00

    Hello..A good posting. After a whole lot of thinking and acceptance..I finally know that if medicine and education are to be available..(to me that means if we want to 'make it' with those long term social investments)..we must socialize..
    for the nail biters and hanger ons of the cold war..I do know how hard it is to accept..I also know it will not inhibit the ability to get rich if we socialize..it will probably make it easier..there will be a social cycle..that is always defined..one of the ways is economic class generally stays 'in port in rough seas'..look at the reluctance to do what is smart and good for the vast majority..right now..to quote Dylan..'you will not die it is not poison'..Peace Tony

    Reply

  6. barracuda78
    Jul 25, 2010 @ 15:09:00

    [ciò è buono]

    Reply

  7. CynthiaK
    Jul 25, 2010 @ 15:30:00

    Ken, are you taking the pledge?

    Reply

  8. barracuda78
    Jul 25, 2010 @ 15:38:00

    For some reason my entire comment didn't go through..
    To Ken,….the constiution allows many things including slavery, denial of women's voting rights, America is changing, . . . . .and those cement boots you're wearin' are gonna sink ya. . . . . .

    I also hear Somalia is the happening place for all you teabaggers….somalia is fun in the summer, head on over Ken. . . . .let us know how ya make out….be sure to leave the cement boots behind…..you need to run fast in Somalia

    Reply

  9. Syrin from Wasilla
    Jul 26, 2010 @ 11:09:00

    Thanks CynthiaK for your comment…
    Good question to ask Ken! It's easy to talk, lets see some action!
    Ken, start here:
    • I will urge my Member of Congress and Senators to forego their government salary and government-provided healthcare.• I will oppose and condemn the government-funded and therefore socialist military of the United States of America.• I will boycott the products of socialist defense contractors such as GE, Lockheed-Martin, Boeing, Northrop Grumman, General Dynamics, Raytheon, Humana, FedEx, General Motors, Honeywell, and hundreds of others that are paid by our socialist government to produce goods for our socialist army.• I will protest socialist security departments such as the Pentagon, FBI, CIA, Department of Homeland Security, TSA, Department of Justice and their socialist employees.• Upon reaching eligible retirement age, I will tear up my socialist Social Security checks.• Upon reaching age 65, I will forego Medicare and pay for my own private health insurance until I die.

    Reply

  10. CynthiaK
    Jul 26, 2010 @ 12:44:00

    Syrin, the gauntlet has been thrown down and we await those who espouse that "government is the problem" and that government get out of their lives make a commitment and sign your pledge.BTW, appreciate the effort you put into maintaining a blog; it's demanding, hard work.

    Reply

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